I really really need some help!?

First of all I'm so sorry to hear that for you, your son, and your family :( Second, I believe you did the right thing by talking to him and letting him tell you how he really felt, I'm glad he felt he was able to do that. One problem I've noticed with so many boys is that they're taught to hide their emotions, that they're "not man enough if they show how they feel". I do agree that a man has to learn to be strong because he will one day be the rock of his family, and Lord knows us women can cry and be emotional lol. But while growing up and maturing they need to understand that expressing their thoughts and feelings is VERY important. As they get older they need to be able to share that with their wife too. My fiance is very strong, and not many people see him upset, but he knows he can come to me and tell me everything that bothers him, and cry if need be. We built that comfort and trust with each other from the beginning. I'm not a psychologist, but my advice would be this: Let your son know that he can ALWAYS talk to you, that you are not gonna think less of him as a man if he cries ever now and then. Tell him you still cry sometimes too, thats part of the healing process (And don't be afraid to cry with him, seeing your emotions will reassure him that its ok to be upset). Don't ask him every other day how he's feeling and if he's okay though, because as a young teenager you'll just be that 'annoying dad' lol, but do ask occasionally, especially if he hasn't said anything in a long time. And bring your wife, his mother, up in conversation. Recall fond memories of her with a laugh and a smile. That lets him know you haven't forgotten her either. I don't know what else you can do, you can put him in counseling but sometimes that backfires, a kid often sees that as "wow my parents don't care enough to talk to me/don't want to deal with me so they stuck me in a room with some shrink, like I'm really gonna tell this dude how i feel?!" But sometimes its helpful so its up to you, I would try being his 'shrink' before I stuck him with a stranger. But the relationship that ya'll will build if you take my earlier advice will benefit both of you for the rest of your lives, he'll come to you for college advice, marriage advice, etc, you could be his best friend. I hope and pray everything turns out better than ok, and I hope this helped at least a little. God Bless